Are all people as pre-occupied by appearence as I am? I spend very little time actually readying myself for public appearences, but spend gratuitous amounts of time before hand planning my whole wardrobe and minimal makeup repertoires. Scanning through haut couture magazines and analyzing minute blendings of color and placement of metallic shades above and below various layers of eyelash. I translate cartoon characters, and TV actress wardrobes and makeup sets from long shots to closeups, and try to find equivalents in my existent closet, then rake through malls for similar things. I do this in binges every 3 years or so, depending on my life situation.
The current transformation is from Peace Corps Volunteer to Yuppie.
Truth be told, half the Volunteers I met were already on the Yuppie Fast Track. Suits and delusions of power enough to help the world, a handsome bunch of Anakin Skywalkers. I went with a nice pair of linen slacks, Cairo circa 1942 sort of look, and a brace of brightly flowered button down shirts, two darts away from being Aloha wear. I had zero pairs of heels.
Little did I know what Moldovankas had in store... Two years' inundation of stillettos and sparkles birthed me back into America stylin.
Pair that with the year of Princess enforced one hour daily of fake eyelash application and costume scrutiny, it's amazing I don't preen constantly.
I do notice everything, though. From Hip:Leg ratio, whether you'd look better in profile or straight on, how much hotter you are than me, and me than you, hair maintanence, age of clothes, uneven eyeliner, brand of shoe, and whether all these things work for you or against your personality. How much they reflect your personality. How much of your personality you soak into these damned things. If I compliment your $500 Manolos, and you shrug or light up.
Anyway...I tell myself I only worry about these things when my mind is not otherwise occupied, like with work, or driving.
And since I do these things in binge cycles, I like having help. Since this one in particular is into unknown social territory, help would be nice. My first two forays were completely alone except for my mother's voice: "You know, you are petite."
This turns out to have been gold. I had no clue, but as soon as I walked into the super elite petite sections of Ann Taylor, it's like the clothes were made just for me! Like Guess things are for Key$a or American Apparel for my friend FrannyPants.
It was nice, but nearly as nice as my first shopping experience in Texas. It's Texas, things are bigger and better in Texas, right? Well, they are bitches about parking, but they know how to grease thier commissions. I had just been whinging with a shop girl at DKNY in Maryland about how I have no clue what clothes to buy for my first office job, and needed a personal assistant. She agreed, and folded the skirt and put it away.
These girls, Christine and Francesca, saw me walk in and didn't stop at "Hello, can I help you?" but expanded:
Hi! I'm Christine! What's your name?
Kiddo
So, how are you? What are we looking for today?
Oh, you know, work clothes.
Ok, well, I just helped a young lady in a legal office, do you like any of these (25) things.
They also served me Merlot, and gave me great advice, and I bought things from them without question, hoping they may get a slice. I was even sold a pencil skirt for $1. Their passion and professionalism were fantastic. They allowed me to think really hard for 1 hour, and now, my wardrobe is built to the point where I need not worry again about it.
Thank you.
Now I need my wardrobe to look like this:
No comments:
Post a Comment