Monday, October 24, 2011

Doggy Vocab

Moldova tended to kick their dogs a lot, and frequently let them die out of neglect, but they were always a necessary player in the home farm balance. Even Renata, who really didn't want a dog, was obligated to keep one alive in her yard.


Americans, we all know, are quite different. Not only do dogs make up a natural part of suburban life, but parts of those lives start revolving around The Dog.


Walks, food, vet visits, family vacations, babysitters, chasing when they run away, worrying they've been in a car accident – dogs quickly turn into an adolescent child. At least they don't have the opposable thumbs to open our liquor cabinets.


Which is not to assume our dogs in suburbia are dumb. Even if we haven't seen Lassie, we know our dogs should save us from falling into wells. We buy / rescue the best of the best of the best, because who wants less than that if they can help it?


Buck, my family Jack Russel Terrier, is one such example. Crazy smart, highly alert to danger. Eager to please at all moments. Would raid the doggy liquor cabinet of Pupperoni if only he could manipulate the handle on the door.


He's not trained for life saving, or cadaver sniffing, or even for pulling rabbits and foxes out of holes, but for cuddling and tearing apart stuffed animals.


Buck is so smart in fact that he has a vocabulary in English:


Bone

Ball

Rope


Squirrel

Rabbit

Alien


These are the things that we throw for him and he enacts kills for us.


He also know domestic chore words:


Kennel

Up


Down

Upstairs

Downstairs

In

Out

Stay


And practical things:


Sit


Leash


But, really, what is at all cool about Buck is that he speaks in full sentences. We don't just bark these words at him. That would be normal human-dog interaction: dictated by our wants and his vocabulary. No, Buck is the ultimate suburban house pet.


Where is your bone?

This food is not for you.

Drop that dead alien.

Buck, you stay here.


It's pretty superior. I'm pretty sure my dad, trainer and alpha male, treats Buck like he did my sister and I when we were 4. Although, he just took pictures of us, while he made Buck a facebook page and updates it for him.


Where does suburbia go from there?

2 comments:

Dan said...

All you have to do now is train the dog to update his own facebook page and blog and you'll have achieved maximum suburbinite status.

Anonymous said...

the little dog is so cute! love it.


liquor cabinet