One's personality is fully formed by 13 or 14. We aren't even aware of ourselves as existent in the world, and we are already compiled. So what is it late teenagers are so busy trying to build with all their experiementation and phasal swapping? Goth to Preppy to Skank in 10 months flat, and whole wardrobes to prove it. I've seen it happen.
This didn't happen so much in Moldova. Teens all wore basic uniforms of tight clothes with excess zippers and uncomfortable footwear not suited to their muddy treks to and from school where they inevitably preen for each other then skip the rest of the day to sit at home mulling about what shiny combination to try on tomorrow.
They aren't aware of their personality, but are trying to find it? For the first time they are aware they have one, and need to learn to express it?
It's not that Moldovan teen personalities are any less diverse than American teen personalities, but they are a good deal less adamant about differentiating their expression from each other.
What is a personality made of? Habits, predicable reactions to situations. Choice in situation. Likes and dislikes. Preferences. Doubtless there are tomes dedicated to the study and reflection upon these things. What am I worried about? The idea that my sister may not realize that some things don't fit her personality, as we her family understand it. That we may say something like “Swearing doesn't suit your personality” and she'll think that we are either damning a part of her that wants to swear, or we are damning her desire to grow as a person.
Which leads me to how much can we, do we, grow after we first become aware of ourselves? How long does it even take for us to become fully aware of things about our personalities? How long can some people hide from their personalities?
So, a person must experience many things to know how they naturally react, and how they may wish to react instead. What they actually like, and actually dislike. You may only “dislike” snails because you saw one crushed on a rainy morning sidewalk, and therefore never try them at a french restaurant. Or, you try them and discover, correctly, one way or another.
This leads into a problem: Opportunity. Opportunity is a massive limiting factor in people's personalities. No matter what you MAY like, you might not have access to find out. This starts showing up in unfortunately stunted groups of people, for all sorts of reasons. Poverty is pretty obvious. Cliques are less so. Limiting factors there are just as present, but they are not out of actual neccessity, but out of social pressures. These stuntings, do they make people feel edgy and trapped, or safe? If you dislike cages, the first, and if you have a natural disposition for indecision, then your personality need not form further. Well done, you've reached a place to stick.
No comments:
Post a Comment