Nasty

A new and wonderful this has started: When I blow dry my un combed hair, strands clump together, they stay wet longer and blow around like strands of sunny kelp. They fall into configurations around my face that make me look like Key$a. It's off putting. Like wearing a wig for the first time, no way your face can look like that. No way you, your face can transform so much with something so arbitrary. If you've never tried it, it's $10 worth of fun from Party City.

I've worn wigs a good deal before, and never was I perturbed by their outcome. It''s awesome, in fact, to suddenly be a red head. Your own natural hair though,, and realize you suddenly look exemplary of many an abhorrent thing.

I look nasty, in fact. Slutty and mean. Not dirty with mud in my skin, but suggestive of it in a degrading and cheap fashion. I look ready to offend you just to watch you feel bad about yourself, like I might glean some vicious satisfaction from it. I look, suddenly, like I have undergone a serious change of personally and am now hard to dea with and nauseating to your own, higher sensibilities.

Luckily my hair dries, I straighten it and put it in a pony tail and arrive to work fresh and tidy, 10 minutes early. The next several hours are spent with a good deal of attention dealt to consideration of others, making their lieves easier and richer. For guests I am sweet and good humored and obliging. For co-workers I look for things they need help with and then do them.

So leaving tonight it's mentioned in passing that the innocent busboy with his huge liquid eyes, and nervous hand gestures should learn to be more nasty (implication to “stand up for himself”) and he can learn from Her---giant finger gestures at me.

Instantly three other coworkers chime in – Oh yea! She IS nasty!

I am surprised and a little offended. Who are these people, and what have I done to them? When did I cease being a skipping pollyanna and become a whip cracking delilah? If this is true, why has no one else in my life ever noticed it?