Houston

I'm visiting my friend Houston, in his namesake hometown, for my vacation this year. What do I do, on my annual vacation, you ask? I work 8-10 hour days in a fun little office, and help host fun little networking round tables and presentations about oil wells in Yemen. I wear pantyhose, suits, and three inch heels. I make spreadsheets and battle with Microsoft Word for the privilege of typing upside down to make name-place cards for lunches (Hint: it's not possible. Manipulate the system by flipping the name positions on the page and then flip the direction of the paper as you feed it into the printer one page at a time.). I learned that if you are making an online agenda for a series of activities for a group of people, overkill and simplicity are key.

This is very fun, and useful. I learn all sorts of things, meet all sorts of people, and receive some Yemeni coffee (yum). I also see a whole city from a Not Tourist's perspective. I know most of the highway systems, and where all the HOV lanes are. I know which restaurants have good take out, which suck, which biker bars are particularly unsafe, and which will give you free baklava if you are made to wait too long.

Things I have learned about Texas and Texans:

1. Houstonians are a breed of particularly aware, educated, and clean-accented Texans.

2. "Everything is Bigger in Texas" does not necessarily mean size. It also mean quality. If you are going to open a restaurant, it is not going to be some anonymous building with food and seating inside, it's going to be themed, and decked out, and the staff is going to be competent. I have met no incompetent employees, from security gaurds to waiters to managers of oil corporations. Even people who work slowly, and in circles (I have met only two), finish their jobs to the nth degree.

3. The world runs on the things people do here. We worry about gas prices for a reason. This city is largely where the deals are brokered for those prices. It is the cradle of capitalist life. Such an overarching theme, and motivational core lends the entire city a sense of Can Do not currently felt elsewhere in the world. The roads and streets are ridiculously clean, the street cleaners dress business casual, the shopping strip malls are sequestered in glades seemingly designed by adult graphic design nerds. While there are super-churches dotting the highways, high quality restaurants and shoe boutiques evoke the same God/Jesus awe and devotion.

4. Sheriffs, of course, wear ten gallon hats and ride horses through the streets in packs of 5 or 6 pintos.

5. There are no zoning laws. Want your house to be the next puppy palace? Go for it. Want to build a skyscraper with a 7 level parking garage in this neighborhood? Show me the money. It's crazy. Luckily there is enough money flowing through all these ramshackle entrepreneurs succeed and fallen shacks of yesteryear's failings are few and far between. Either that or some observant person will see that bankrupt China Buffet that looks like Disney financed a mini Beijing, and refit it as a bonsai and other big tree nursery--instant gimmick. Why not?

I like it.