Thursday, September 23, 2010

Adventures With Internet

Missing, assumed stolen, very specifically from a zippered inner-pocket of a zippered main pocket, containing also a bottle of ibuprofen, pack of tissues and pair of pliers, I alerted Orange Moldova. Orange Moldova has a Facebook page if you wanna question their evil and innovative methods.

I can't even make up that it went missing on the exact day my annual subscription ended and I had to officially recharge it. Like, Orange has this immense range able to hire little pick pockets to keep track of whose subscriptions are up when and to snatch their USB modems, forcing subscribers to come into HQ and pay up.

Being a dystopian dictator's dream of a sheep, I went.

They told me I was clearly not Renata Buzuleac and they couldn't help me. I offered to forge the signature and they very nearly let me. I think if I'd said so with serious intent, I'd have pulled it off. As it was, I was stunned they even humored the idea and hesitated too long.

Told Ren. At first she was horrified I'd suggested forgery: For this you could go to jail! It didn't enter her mind that the company would have ALLOWED it.

Thereafter, every day she came up with a new scheme to get herself to Glodeni. Bus was out of the question, her husband/driver works during the day. She has to pick up Bianca at 4 everyday. The puzzle pieces are slimy.

Tuesday, I'm headed out of town for a dentist appointment in the Big City and she'd said Definitely Definitely today. Dorin will drive us. I said I'd take both her and Dorin out for lunch at the Moldovan Bistro they love so much. I'm partial to Bistro for hangovers from Ukrainian wedding parties only, really, preferring the draft beer and veggie pizzas of Millenium down the street, but whatever. Renata loves her traditional Moldovan food and won't be swayed.

The crucial hour, 13.20 arrives, I called before, I called after, a called an hour later, I hitched to Glodeni on my own thinking, maybe her phone's off. Hunted around, peeped in the Orange outlet, nothin... I go to find a bus to Balti.

Next morning, doing my PC librarian thing, I find my Orange Stick... Call Ren.

Ren: Hello.
Erika: Hey. You'll never guess what?
R: What? I went to the police yesterday.
E: What?!
R: I told them your internet was stolen. Now we can get a new one very cheap.
E: That's -- damn. Really? The police?
R: You said it was stolen.
E: Yes, but, uh,
R: ...
E: I found it, here, in Chisinau...
R: Oh. Oh. Well, then I will cancel the police report.
E: Damn. I'm sorry... I called--
R: Yes, I saw that you called, but I was in the police station, and...

Then, Orange, it it's infinite wisdom, disconnected us.

Turns out, that if you LOSE your modem, it costs 9x what it costs if you have it stolen.

Renata actually had her uncle go down to the station today to cancel it. She beeped Orange. Currently, neither of us have money on our phones. To Beep, in Moldovaneste is to call and hang up on a person so they must call you back. It's pretty standard.

Also, because it continued being connected for the whole 10 days, Orange just rolled over my annual subscription, said I still have to pay for this month, and then start my new subscription on the 25th. All in all, less complicated than it could have been.

1 comment:

Martha in KS said...

When long distance calls were so expensive in the US, people would place person-to-person calls (the operator asked for a specific person) and the recipient would say they weren't there. For instance, if you drove home from a vacation & wanted to let someone know that you made it home okay, you'd call & ask for yourself. That was a signal that you were home. Ingenious & FREE!

Glad you found your Orange.

Martha in KS (aunt of Cate Crandell - PCV)