Many volunteers have countdowns going to the end of their service. Some started these our first week of service, some halfway through this second dreary winter. Some people keep them in their heads, some post them on blogs, or computer desktops, or maybe even Facebook.
Recently I made three consecutive comments to our Vice President. One of them was an accurate count of the number of months since I flew away from the USA to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. He replied with a loaded “Really?! Sounds like somebody's counting!” showing me immediately to be one of these counters. Friends, readers, this is my greatest deterrent from ever entering politics. I said something I know naturally—for reasons unknown—and was quantifiably and verifiably true and it was taken to show a wealth of motivation and conotation I had no desire to associate with myself in front of a power-wielding man and all of my colleagues, many of whom I rail against making such statements.
That is, I said something utterly hypocritical. I regret it. I hate countdowns, and if Joe has the ability to remember me (doubtful) he thinks of me as a down-counter.
For things anticipated, we naturally look forward to them to deliver us from a perceived down feeling or time. I get it. I am looking forward to a visit from my mom and sisters. I'm looking forward to eating my first really Mexican food made by real Mexicans. I'm looking forward to having a job that pays me more than $100 a month.
But if you spend seconds and minutes a day physically looking at a calender and crossing every day you survive without these experiences, aren't you missing the seconds and minutes and days you are currently living?
Worse, aren't you cheapening the anticipated event? By building up expectations and day dreaming, you are fencing in the idea of the texture of the beans, the milkiness of the fake cheese, the smooth drop of margarita from tongue to tummy. Now we will trespass into La Belle Dame Sans Merci and Platonic Cave theory, but seriously, no America, or party or family reunion can be as cool as your 119 days till experiencing the experience can possibly be.
Unless you have a poorly imagination, and that's just sad.
1 comment:
I do agree with you darling but I have one favorable thing to say on the subject of countdowns. I decided to begin a 30 day countdown on my blog at the end of my contract. Though I wasn't consistent throughout, I was more than I usually am on my blog. What made it positive was that because I had decided to countdown blog I looked for the valuable moments in each day that I would later write about. I went through the day more aware and often found that I had too much that I could have written about.
When are you coming back to the states then my non-downcounter friend? :)
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