Today's Assignment: To hang a closet rack.
Tools: power drill, level, pencil, pre-made (non Ikea) rack/shelf unit.
It should be noted here that Ikea is superior in almost all ways. This instruction manual comes in three languages. Ikea's comes in none. The graphic designers and engineers they
have at Ikea have no need for words---they are THAT good at showing which to tool to use when on which piece of wood or metal or wall or plastic or cloth... They are brilliant. They also design ALL of their pieces of furniture, each shelf, screw, leg, support board, are unique and distinct looking from all others. They are also all precisely measured so no hack sawing is required.
I am circumnavigating the need for a hacksaw today by adapting the design of the non-Ikea shelving unit. That's right, I'm a genius, it's ok to worship.
What is not so precise about this particular, generic, Best Buy of DIY stores, are the numbers of things they include. I have three too many fat screws, two too many thin screws and one too few stud covering plastic cap guy.
Luckily, I am an adult and will refrain from knocking my noggin on the edges of any white metal.
I feel like I'm commiting treason against my holy land, Ikea, land of marzipan and gravy, land of color and delight in efficiency, land of show, land of self explanation, exploration, mix and match heaven. Where a person can easily make a nest worth feathering.
Drunk the koolaid?
Um, that's lingon berry juice--B****.
2 comments:
you have taught me a new word, i believe i am an aesthete.
aes·thete [es-theet or, especially Brit., ees-] Show IPA
noun
1.
a person who has or professes to have refined sensitivity toward the beauties of art or nature.
2.
a person who affects great love of art, music, poetry, etc., and indifference to practical matters.
Happy to spread knowledge!
Addendum to Drill:
Not only were the correct size bit and the attacher doohikus missing, but it turns out that is an exterior wall I was going to drill. Welcome damp and termites.
No drilling.
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